Breastfeeding is easy!

What!, you ask?  The momma who so struggled to breastfeed that she wrote a tome on the subject and called it "Babyfood" now says breastfeeding is EASY?

Feeding Elliott is easy, now.  He is 7 months old and a total pro.  He loves nursing, is super efficient, and is even learning that turning his head while attached is a no-no.  Once we got past 2 months, and then 3 months, it just became easy.  No bottles, no ice packs, no pump.  Just put the baby in the car and leave the house.

Elliott, 6 months

It makes me feel even more astonished that I exclusively pumped for Sam for 20 months.  20 months!  More than 1 1/2 years of pumping, day in and day out, in the middle of the night while Sam's dad fed him with a bottle, in the middle of the night awake alone, in the middle of the afternoon when everyone was outside playing, at work at my desk, in my car, in bathroom stalls, in hotel rooms, on airplanes, pumping, pumping, pumping.  And never, ever nursing my sweet baby boy.

It makes me feel astonished, and sad, and disappointed in myself I didn't try again, try harder after the initial failures to nurse at 2 weeks, at 3 months.  Disappointed I didn't call every LC in my state to find a way to fix the latch.  Disappointed that I was resigned to being an "EPer."

I know why I was resigned.  Pumping, like driving a moving train, was much easier to keep going with than to stop and reverse directions. And I felt proud that I did the next best thing health-wise.

So now, I will try to leave it behind and enjoy nursing my other sweet baby boy and be thankful I have a chance this time.