tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64007650612734161272024-03-05T03:26:02.581-05:00babyfood.or, how my life was taken over by trying to feed one tiny baby, how I came to bottle-feed him breast milk, and what I learned in the process.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-53709174475752893972013-05-07T11:12:00.001-04:002013-05-24T09:54:09.175-04:00Breastfeeding is easy!What!, you ask? The momma who so struggled to breastfeed that she wrote a tome on the subject and called it "Babyfood" now says breastfeeding is EASY?<br />
<br />
Feeding Elliott is easy, now. He is 7 months old and a total pro. He loves nursing, is super efficient, and is even learning that turning his head while attached is a no-no. Once we got past 2 months, and then 3 months, it just became easy. No bottles, no ice packs, no pump. Just put the baby in the car and leave the house. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_TwPZOtzvowPuJWQ9uKULPP_wcaK_M-Dloxx5S0Hq2qyDuQjkq_RVxyhLoPjYcjdxk5XXsQ65YGr5uJzx1JsaZz5bBtVoVb3DrswPJaPSHUlbUdYYkJhcC-vUW8-ZN1ADG-y342PrQvGr/s1600/5+months.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_TwPZOtzvowPuJWQ9uKULPP_wcaK_M-Dloxx5S0Hq2qyDuQjkq_RVxyhLoPjYcjdxk5XXsQ65YGr5uJzx1JsaZz5bBtVoVb3DrswPJaPSHUlbUdYYkJhcC-vUW8-ZN1ADG-y342PrQvGr/s200/5+months.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elliott, 6 months</td></tr>
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It makes me feel even more astonished that I exclusively pumped for Sam for 20 months. 20 months! More than 1 1/2 years of pumping, day in and day out, in the middle of the night while Sam's dad fed him with a bottle, in the middle of the night awake alone, in the middle of the afternoon when everyone was outside playing, at work at my desk, in my car, in bathroom stalls, in hotel rooms, on airplanes, pumping, pumping, pumping. And never, ever nursing my sweet baby boy.<br />
<br />
It makes me feel astonished, and sad, and disappointed in myself I didn't try again, try harder after the initial failures to nurse at 2 weeks, at 3 months. Disappointed I didn't call every LC in my state to find a way to fix the latch. Disappointed that I was resigned to being an "EPer."<br />
<br />
I know why I was resigned. Pumping, like driving a moving train, was much easier to keep going with than to stop and reverse directions. And I felt proud that I did the next best thing health-wise.<br />
<br />
So now, I will try to leave it behind and enjoy nursing my other sweet baby boy and be thankful I have a chance this time.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-27450279313780171952013-04-30T14:42:00.005-04:002013-04-30T14:43:15.038-04:00Baby-led feedingA day came in the first few weeks of breastfeeding when things clicked for us. This happened after we discovered that he was fighting against our efforts to manually manipulate his mouth into the right place (see last post). It occurred to me to look back at what I learned about nursing in the first hour after birth--about the "breast crawl" and ways that baby learns to latch on.<br />
<br />
I rested his cheek against my breast like on a pillow, and he would do this kind of sweeping motion of raising and turning his head and opening his mouth very wide. At that moment I could bring him in and latch him on. With a little practice we got the timing and aim down, kind of like hitting a baseball, and this method worked almost every time. I used this method for many weeks until we didn't need to focus so much on the perfect latch (next post: breastfeeding is easy!).Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-40001470670909906952013-03-08T15:45:00.000-05:002013-03-08T15:45:02.016-05:00Unintended consequencesOne of the key components of a good latch is a big, wide open baby mouth that takes in as much mama as possible. Pain can occur when baby slips down on the breast and treats the nipple like a straw.<br />
<br />
One way to combat this tendency for newborns to "slip" is to have a partner help manipulate baby's lower jaw into better position after he has latched on. We used this technique at almost every feeding to reduce pain and improve latch for the first week or two of nursing, and it worked well at first.<br />
<br />
But at some point, Daddy had more and more trouble pushing down on Elliott's jaw, and in fact, it seemed like Elliott was actually fighting him, causing the problem to be worse--MORE clamping down--rather than less. I found an <a href="http://kellymom.com/ages/newborn/bf-basics/latch-pressing-chin/">article on kellymom</a> that seemed to suggest that jaw manipulation may have not only diminishing returns, but the unintended consequence of actually making the pain worse after awhile. <br />
<br />
Why? Consider would happen if you approached your partner, or parent, or friend and tried to <i>physically open his or her mouth.</i> Or even if you tried to push him or her gently backward? No matter how trusting the relationship, he or she would probably automatically exert energy in the opposite direction of your pushing. Indeed, Elliott and his dad were experiencing their first power struggle, and in between was the tender skin of my nipple.<br />
<br />
Is there a lesson in this idea that could help with my original idea? Yes. Try to push his mouth closed, not open, during latching on, and benefit from the reverse effect.<br />
<br />
Even better, could we somehow tap into Elliott's natural instincts to get that wide open mouth we needed? Yes. Next post.<br />
<br />
Problem, duct-tape solution, unintended consequence, aha moment, learn, succeed, repeat.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-23213629278691501662013-02-22T19:00:00.000-05:002013-02-22T19:00:02.340-05:00Magical FixesBreastfeeding was difficult for me at first, each feeding a challenge, sometimes painful, sometimes a lengthy and drawn-out ordeal. We made progress in fits and spurts, tackling problems along the way, often with duct-tape solutions or trying things that had failed before. After we had wired up a complicated hack for a problem, and then gotten used to it, it was hard to imagine any other way to do it, like when you're sick and can't remember what it's like to feel well. Then, the problem would suddenly, randomly disappear. (Or some unintended consequence would appear that then needed its own solution. Next post.)<br />
<br />
An example of a "magically disappearing breastfeeding problem" was our stop-gap solution to nipple damage from sub-optimal latch: the widely dreaded or widely admired "nipple shield." This is a very thin silicone cover that separates you from the baby and encourages the wide-open mouth necessary for a good latch. Many people warn against their use because there is some evidence that it can reduce milk supply, but they are lifesavers for people facing serious breastfeeding hurdles like me.<br />
<br />
After about 3 days of nursing a newborn, I had a lot of soreness, so we tried the nipple shield, which seemed to help with the pain and create a better latch. The shield had to be washed and dried between uses, made pliable by a hot-water bath before use, positioned and applied carefully and correctly, and not knocked away or manually removed by a clawing baby or one of the many hands attempting to wrangle him onto my breast. But it worked, and my nipples got less sore, so we went through this crazy dance at each feeding, make OK by the fact that it was better than pumping and syringe feeding, the next best option.<br />
<br />
Eventually it became a kind of mental crutch--I could not envision being brave enough to nurse skin to skin. The "crutch" then attained a mental permanency and I resigned myself to the ritual. And then, trying to start a feeding one day, with the baby clawing at my breast and writhing wildly in my arms, the shield was propelled to the floor. Out of what could almost be described as anger, or at the very least, extreme frustration, I ditched our crutch and stuck him on my breast with fortitude and he nursed, painlessly, just like we were old pros.<br />
<br />
Why? Did the shield "train" him how to latch? Does the newborn need a week's training before muscle memory kicks in? Did he just get bigger? I will never know. <br />
<br />
We go from struggling, struggling, making our way slowly up the stairwell, until someone points out there's an elevator and we're suddenly whisked upward by a dozen flights all at once.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-10904742244853967672013-02-01T13:00:00.000-05:002013-05-24T09:51:18.038-04:00Docking the space shuttleThe key to early breastfeeding success is the latch. What is "the latch?" It is the way the baby connects with your breast to feed, and it is way more than just putting his mouth on your nipple.<br />
<br />
In our case, it felt a lot like docking the shuttle at the international space station, except you only have control over the station. The shuttle has a brain of its own, and it is a person named Elliott. <br />
<br />
Components of my good latch:<br />
<ul>
<li>intense, driving motivation to breastfeed </li>
<li>four adult hands</li>
<li>three human brains</li>
<li>plan of action written out prior to birth by lactation consultant (LC)</li>
<li>great support team and medical providers at birth</li>
<li>no medications during labor</li>
<li>smooth, problem-free delivery </li>
<li>healthy, hungry baby with a big open mouth</li>
<li>hospital that supports skin to skin, feeding within first 20 minutes, and rooming in</li>
<li>LC available the first night</li>
<li>another written prescription for action by LC before leaving hospital</li>
<li>baby's dad who would not let me settle for an imperfect latch</li>
</ul>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Elliott, Day 1</td></tr>
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That the nurses and LC could see on my chart the breastfeeding prescription--which included strategies to avoid soreness--meant that everyone around me was prepared to help. The first day and a half I let the baby nurse and nurse and tried a few times to latch him myself. It felt OK. His mouth was huge. Edema wasn't a problem since I had received no IV fluids and no medications. The nurses said, "That latch looks perfect. Textbook."<br />
<br />
It wasn't until I got to meet with the LC who prescribed my breastfeeding strategy, Suzanne, on Day 2 just before we were discharged that I realized I was on a course to repeat my mistakes. She said, "On a scale of 1-10, what is your pain level?"<br />
<br />
I said, "Maybe two or three."<br />
<br />
She said, "It needs to be zero. Take him off and try again."<br />
<br />
When breastfeeding hurts, the latch is not good enough, and breakdown of nipples begins, leading to more pain and more breakdown. This is the cycle I got trapped in with Sam. Suzanne was taking no prisoners this time. She wrote another plan for us before sending us home. We took pictures and videos of the right way to do it. At home, Max emulated her helping hands and rigorous standards. He insisted on zero-pain latch.<br />
<br />
Our life was a jumble of nipple shields, pillows, tylenol, breast pump parts, ice packs, cabbage leaves, waterproof pads, and used tissues. But we made it. We nursed.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-28618785527416364552012-08-30T20:30:00.000-04:002012-09-07T15:52:41.026-04:00My breastfeeding support survival guideI've already chosen a hospital and a doula who have great track records for breastfeeding success. But I need to have a reference guide in case things don't go smoothly: my breastfeeding support survival guide. I have some research to do to fill in the blanks, but this will be filled in and in my overnight bag when we leave for the hospital. Am I missing anything?<br />
<br />
In-hospital lactation consultations:<br />
<ul>
<li>List of all hospital LC's and their availability (Cost: covered by insurance)</li>
<li>Who can help if they aren't available (are nurses trained to assist?)</li>
<li>Outline of routine postpartum care I can expect at my hospital ("magical hour" skin-to-skin contact, minimal intervention, etc.)</li>
<li>Training and qualifications of other staff to help, such as nurses</li>
</ul>
After-hospital lactation consultations: <br />
<ul>
<li>List of 1-3 providers and phone numbers who travel for in-home visits (cost: covered by insurance if affiliated with a hospital--be sure to get prior insurance approval)</li>
<li>List of local hospitals and phone numbers that offer lactation appointments (cost: covered)</li>
<li>List of 1-3 Skype services (cost: $45-$75/session, not covered by insurance)</li>
</ul>
Pediatrician:<br />
<ul>
<li>Postpartum pediatrician's office, phone number and hours of operation, and services (traveling nurses? Same-day appointments?)</li>
<li>Local pediatrician's office, phone number and hours of operation</li>
</ul>
References:<br />
<ul>
<li>List of feeding cues and signs of a well-fed baby </li>
<li>List of favorite information sites (kellymom.com)</li>
<li>List of recommended YouTube videos on latching</li>
<li>List of books and DVD's on hand </li>
<li>Printouts of medical protocols for most common breastfeeding problems (http://www.bfmed.org/Resources/Protocols.aspx)</li>
</ul>
Support groups:<br />
<ul>
<li>List of 1-3 local breastfeeding support groups, their phone numbers, and schedules</li>
<li>List of online forums</li>
</ul>
Other lifelines:<br />
<ul>
<li>Doula phone number</li>
<li>List of friends and family who are breastfeeding supporters</li>
</ul>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-7799711186979834862012-07-31T09:58:00.001-04:002012-07-31T10:00:19.366-04:00Battle Babyfood: Round 2The bell is about to ring on Round 2 of Battle Babyfood: I am expecting baby #2 in just over 2 months. I've spent the last 3 years training and conditioning, and I am now a mommy of steel: nothing is going to stand in my way this time.<br />
<br />
OK, so that is me psyching myself up. But it is true that the knowledge I gained from trying to breastfeed a baby, having major problems and not having nearly enough help, finally finding a stopgap solution on my own (exclusively pumping for 20 months), and then asking a lot of questions and doing a lot of research and writing afterward, has me much better positioned to beat the barriers this time around.<br />
<br />
My thinking in July 2008 was: If I can get through labor and delivery, I can get through anything, and breastfeeding will come naturally.<br />
<br />
My thinking now is: I will be supported in labor and delivery by a slew of dedicated helpers at my hospital. I will be supported in breastfeeding--which could be even more difficult and painful than labor and delivery--<b>by no one except the team I build for myself</b>. And by <i>support</i> I mean people professionally trained, experienced, and ready to provide medical guidance and intervention if needed, as well as emotional supporters.<br />
<br />
So I'm getting started building my network of pros to make this happen, including a breastfeeding-friendly midwifery/OB practice, a breastfeeding-friendly hospital (that has incidentally made <a href="http://www.bestforbabes.org/booby-traps-series-listening-to-newborns-how-change-happened-at-one-hospital">strides in its lactation support practices</a> since Sam was born there almost 3 years ago), a great childbirth educator and doula, at least one great lactation consultant willing to do home visits and/or work with me via Skype, and a breastfeeding-friendly pediatrician.<br />
<br />
Let the battle begin!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-89325260102268564772011-05-25T17:00:00.000-04:002011-05-25T17:00:05.067-04:00The other sideAll last week as my body was gently reminding me that it COULD still breastfeed, if I wanted to. I resisted mightily, and now am officially on the other side! I feel sad and excited at the same time. Sam is such a big boy lately, eating and talking. Just last week, he began to say "I like it" and "No like it," taking a new level of control over his own diet.<br />
<br />
<br />
So what will become of babyfood, the blog? Looking back, there seems to have been a trajectory of shock, desperate search for answers, tons of research read, realization of the higher level of barriers (not just physical) I was caught in, and then finally, a sense of calm. Last week, I went back and tagged my posts by baby's age so those mothering infants can find posts relevant to them. I will continue to post about toddler feeding, especially as we enter the potentially picky-eating phase, and also reflect on my year and a half of baby feeding. <br />
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I'm also thinking of two close friends who embarked on their own babyfeeding journey nearly the same day that I ended mine, sending them good luck and best wishes.<br />
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On to the next phase! Thank you for sticking with me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-74933385369419428442011-05-15T22:50:00.001-04:002011-05-15T23:08:58.673-04:00Letting goI have just expressed the last breast milk for Samuel. I feel the mix of pride and heartache that I now know is exclusive to mothers letting go of their children. I felt it when he was born and his umbilical cord was cut, and I'm feeling it now for the second time, since once again he is no longer dependent on my body for survival. I am sure I will feel it again and again throughout his life as he makes leaps toward independence, each one seeming to arrive too quickly and each one bigger than the last. We're only just getting started.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-75260968054634237522011-05-14T13:03:00.001-04:002011-05-15T23:08:40.705-04:00Time to Retire<span style="font-size: small;"><span id="internal-source-marker_0.860153948792056" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Samuel will be 20 months this Sunday, May 15. It’s time to retire from pumping milk.</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">When he was two weeks old, I gave up nursing despite never having wanted anything more in my life, thinking formula would be it for us. Then, I had some luck: the pump worked. The first few months were difficult, seven or more sessions a day, literally hours stuck in a chair hooked up to a machine. But it worked, and Sam got breast milk.</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Then I got lucky again, in that I was able to donate extra milk to one adopted baby and again to a milk bank for premature and sick babies.</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Even better, pumping got easier and I cut back to four, then three times a day, two.</span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span><br style="font-family: inherit;" /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: inherit; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Then, just last month, Sam stared eating some serious solid food. I kept it to one pump for the past few weeks, getting a tiny bit of milk. Sam kept eating, and he sprouted his eye teeth. And last night, he ate a huge plate of food--fish, vegetables, cous cous--just ate like a champ. This is the message I’ve been waiting for. </span></span><br />
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br />
</div><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">So, on May 15, I’ll call it quits. My baby is a little boy now, healthy and smart, and I can only take a deep breath and appreciate how lucky I am. </span> </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-50233546805499499782011-05-08T14:50:00.001-04:002011-05-15T23:08:23.377-04:00One ounce of milk; Happy Mothers' DayA few weeks ago, I reduced to one milk pumping session a day and saw a big decrease in supply--down to less than two ounces total. I was a little sad, since I'd hoped to continue at once a day for a little while, but it just didn't seem worth it for so little. But then, of course, I found myself reading about the benefits of even a tiny bit of breast milk per day.<br />
<br />
From <a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-partial.html">Kellymom.com</a>: "Even 50 ml of breastmilk per day (or less - there is little research on this) will help to keep your baby healthier than if he received none at all." So, an ounce a day it is, for a little while longer! <br />
<br />
A second topic: today is Mothers' day. My guys made today very special for me, and I've been thinking about how each of the people who are "moms" in my life have given me something very special--and how lucky I am to have THREE of these.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-40010803000809548062011-03-27T14:23:00.001-04:002011-05-15T23:07:58.555-04:00Waiting for signsI received this text from Max, exclusive provider of most of our toddler's meals:<br />
<span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">1. carefully select most <span class="il">expensive</span> <span class="il">organic</span> foods </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">2. cut into tiny pieces </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">3. pick up tiny pieces off floor </span><span style="display: block; padding-left: 6em;">4. throw away</span><br />
Baby-led feeding naturally leaves me looking for signs of change in Sam's eating habits. But, much like signs of spring this year, they're just not showing up. Sam tries lots of foods but still throws most of it on the floor and drinks milk by the gallon. <br />
<br />
Signs of increasing appreciation for solid food would encourage me that it's OK to reduce pumping milk. Absent these, I reduce pumping milk anyway because I'm tired of doing it. The result is that instead of feeling like we're moving forward, I feel like I'm giving up on the effort. Reducing to two pumps a day has decreased my supply to less than 8 oz. a day. We make up the majority with cow milk.<br />
<br />
The WHO's "minimum two years of breastfeeding" talks into one ear, while the voices of my many sensible friends and family who think it would be perfectly fine to wean talk into the other. I'm pretty confused right now.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-36562839079781785272011-03-10T16:47:00.000-05:002011-03-10T16:47:51.409-05:00Baby-unfriendly hospitals, baby-unfriendly countryWe know that only 3% of hospitals meet the requirements set forth by Unicef's Baby-Friendly initiative. Actually, this might be reflective of the portion of our <i>country</i> that's baby-friendly. I just got back from taking an air trip with my 17-month old and have had my eyes opened to this ugly reality.<br />
<ul><li>Why isn't breastfeeding in public accepted in most of the US? Grownups are perfectly welcome to eat their species-appropriate food in public, but not babies.</li>
<li>Why aren't there family areas in airports and train stations? The facilities in the airports I visited for things like pumping and baby/toddler play were nonexistent.</li>
<li>Why aren't there spaces for nursing moms in hotels? I spent two days at a conference at one of the most famous and elegant hotels in the country, and couldn't find a suitable place to pump. I ended up sitting on the floor of the handicap stall in a ladies' room.</li>
</ul>The attitudes of people we met on our trip reflected this, too. People looked at him and smiled or called him cute, but when it came to being helpful or even understanding to a mom traveling alone with a small child, they declined. Sam ran off some energy around the gate area where we waited for several hours due to a delay; reactions ranged from blank-faced stares to outright scornful looks. He cried and his nose ran, and people cringed. When we look extra time getting through security, people behind shoved their plastic buckets onto the belt before I had time to get my kid out of his carrier and get his shoes and jacket off him. One flight attendant took a look at me with a baby on my back, diaper bag over my shoulder, and toddler car seat in my hands as we were boarding the plane and went right on shoving Cokes into the plane's drink cart.<br />
<br />
And I won't even get started on the recent debate about the no-brainer of making breast pumps tax-deductible devolved into a shocking political debate about whether nursing moms should work at all.<br />
<br />
It's almost as if we Americans love the <i>idea</i> of adorable babies--we are quite comfortable using them to sell products, but back away from a real commitment to doing the best we can for them, from nutrition to childcare, maternal support, and education. We can and have to do better on all.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-34878064892509445752011-02-27T15:51:00.000-05:002011-02-27T15:51:38.438-05:00Scenes from a Baby-Unfriendly HospitalBefore my baby was born, I thought that women who didn't breastfeed chose not to. In fact, most women who don't breastfeed wanted to, but were unable for reasons already mentioned. In my view, getting things right in the birthplace is the key to fixing this problem, with far-reaching benefits including better health for moms and babies. Here is one excerpt from a <a href="http://forums.ivillage.com/t5/Baby-Mommy-Issues/Gotta-let-it-out-somewhere/m-p/116291235#U116291235">forum post by a new mom</a>:<br />
<br />
"How long will I be in mourning over the loss of breastfeeding? I feel so cheated and disappointed in myself. I should have NEVER let the lactation consultant give her a bottle. I should have taken her home and looked up other methods of supplementing her. I should have taken responsibility, taken charge, NOT trusted them. This is why I had a midwife! I never trusted medical people, and this is why. They didn't even let me see her for 2 hours after she was born, and I was so exhausted and out of it I couldn't even bring myself to argue. It was all I could do to yell at my husband to make sure she knew he was there... I know I just have to get over it and "let it go," and be happy that I have a now-healthy <a class="itxtrst itxtrsta itxthook" href="http://forums.ivillage.com/t5/Baby-Mommy-Issues/Gotta-let-it-out-somewhere/m-p/116291235#" id="itxthook0" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: transparent; border-bottom: 0.075em solid darkgreen; color: darkgreen; font-size: 100%; font-weight: normal; padding-bottom: 1px; text-decoration: underline;"><span class="itxtrst itxtrstspan itxthookspan" id="itxthook0w0" style="background: none repeat scroll 0% 0% transparent; color: darkgreen; font-size: inherit; font-weight: inherit;">baby</span></a>, but sometimes it is overwhelming and I can't help but sob. Every time I see something about how much better breastfeeding is for your baby I re-live that guilt, anger, frustration, disappointment." <br />
<br />
I see a shocking FIVE violations of <a href="http://www.babyfriendlyusa.org/eng/10steps.html">Unicef's 10 Steps to Succesful Breastfeeding</a> by this new mom's hospital:<br />
4 - Help mothers initiate breastfeeding within one hour of birth.<br />
5 - Show mothers how to breastfeed and how to maintain lactation, even if they are separated from their infants.<br />
6 - Give newborn infants no food or drink other than breastmilk, unless medically indicated.<br />
7 - Practice “rooming in”-- allow mothers and infants to remain together 24 hours a day.<br />
9 - Give no pacifiers or artificial nipples to breastfeeding infants.<br />
<br />
As a result of the hospital's failure, this baby is at increased risk for common health problems such as obesity, asthma and respiratory infections, despite her mother's commitment to breastfeeding--not to mention the effects of guilt and anger on the mother and the family.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-79925512813922246592011-01-22T21:26:00.000-05:002011-01-22T21:26:42.224-05:00674 Ounces Donated!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwsDVrWN9zy7NNYcA7muwTtMins1rHLcZIJiN_xCTxaFuVni4TWvMjkNtSzkb1Urpdw5WAnC2nX-2WLnx3frYHS7tscNHz1XlhFj2jNAY8OoK-FTpGXzWY2woJ9XHUNmIIoG6rgbYCdU6n/s1600/milk+bank+certificate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwsDVrWN9zy7NNYcA7muwTtMins1rHLcZIJiN_xCTxaFuVni4TWvMjkNtSzkb1Urpdw5WAnC2nX-2WLnx3frYHS7tscNHz1XlhFj2jNAY8OoK-FTpGXzWY2woJ9XHUNmIIoG6rgbYCdU6n/s400/milk+bank+certificate.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-66435257655879755162011-01-22T18:27:00.002-05:002011-05-15T23:07:18.427-04:00Is it good enough?I used to worry that reading my experience would scare expecting moms. But now I realize that while breastfeeding skill doesn't always come "naturally," if you are on the lookout for these "<a href="http://www.bestforbabes.org/breastfeeding-booby-traps/">Breastfeeding Booby Traps</a>," you have a better chance of overcoming problems. Here's my list of tactics for pre-emptively overcoming the "breastfeeding booby traps" at your birthplace (in my opinion, the place where we need the most help).<br />
<br />
You call your hospital and ask about lacation consultants.<br />
<b>Their answer:</b> "Yes, we have a lactation consultant."<br />
<b>Is it good enough?</b> No. You need to hear, "Yes, we have full-time international board certified lactation consultants available to you around the clock during your stay." <br />
<br />
You ask them about breastfeeding after Caesarian, and what their intervention rate is.<br />
<b>Their answer</b>: "We don't have a protocol to support breastfeeding; the doctors treat the babies on a case by case basis. Our intervention rate is average."<br />
<b>Is it good enough:</b> No. You need to hear: "Yes, our breastfeeding after ceasarian protocol is to give no baby any nutritional supplement, unless medically indicated and approved by you or your representative. And the chance of your having a Caesarian to begin with is much lower than average."<br />
<br />
You ask if they routinely give healthy babies formula or other supplements.<br />
<b>Their answer: </b>If it's anything other than a resounding, "No," it's not good enough.<br />
<br />
If their answers aren't good enough, call around to see if there are other hospitals in your area that give better ones. If there aren't, plan to to find supplemental help on your own from a traveling lactation consultant and be vigilant and unapologetic when asking everyone caring for you and your baby to abide by your requirements--verbally and in writing when possible, and plan to have your partner, doula, or support person be responsible for tracking what's happening with your baby at all times.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-14630973674535431812011-01-19T13:50:00.001-05:002011-05-15T23:06:34.760-04:00What Gerber doesn't want you to knowWe never bought a single jar of baby food for Sam. And given the aggressive marketing by baby food manufacturers (just search for "baby food" and see what comes up), they don't want you to figure this out: you don't need it.<br />
<br />
Since the World Heath Organization recommends exclusively breastfeeding for six months, solids need not be introduced until six months at the earliest. And until one year, breast milk or a substitute is still the biggest source of nutrition for baby. That means eating solid food under the age of one is just for learning.<br />
<br />
What, then, is the point of teaching them to eat mashed "baby food?" The object of feeding solids initially should be to develop motor skills, teach chewing and swallowing, get a feel for different types of foods, and have fun. This means we should serve babies soft foods mashable by baby's gums in non-chokable-sized pieces. You don't even need a food processor or ricer--it's quite easy to do with a fork right at the dinner table off your own plate. Caregivers can do this easily, or stick to milk during the time the baby is in their care. An added benefit is that you are in complete control of all ingredients in your baby's solid food. <br />
<br />
Then, by the time baby is one, ideally, he will be well practiced with feeding himself and be accustomed to different flavors and textures, rather than expecting only certain flavors and textures to be delivered all the way to his mouth.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-80641598164244587272011-01-18T16:38:00.001-05:002011-01-19T13:59:40.363-05:00OT: A note on diapersI couldn't say my blog on babyfood was complete until I covered all points of the infant digestive system, so I thought I'd post a note on diapers. Or, maybe it will just be fun!<br />
<br />
Having a baby is, generally, a pretty environmentally unfriendly thing to do. Reusable cloth diapers have been a manageable way for us to reduce our load on the planet, since disposable diapers have a big "footprint." <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRe3XSnHlYdb7QS9iXKj485QroMPJ_QTMr93rmjxmYxK0p5Vhmhxk8MIPgBoyL2EQxe9iyYNicp8bTAsHI776hw6zBqruaBU-4bBB8Na3lRf9iDhqPqyUlYl310ZUmf7TzUbwbaNhh_09t/s1600/soakers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRe3XSnHlYdb7QS9iXKj485QroMPJ_QTMr93rmjxmYxK0p5Vhmhxk8MIPgBoyL2EQxe9iyYNicp8bTAsHI776hw6zBqruaBU-4bBB8Na3lRf9iDhqPqyUlYl310ZUmf7TzUbwbaNhh_09t/s320/soakers.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sam in his handknit wool soakers, 5 months old.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>We started out with simple "prefold" diapers (Gerber) underneath plastic pants (Prorap seconds) or wool "soakers" that were knit for us by Sam's crafty grandmother. These were inexpensive and didn't leak, but we had some problems with diaper rash, and they took more time to put on than disposables.<br />
<br />
Later we tried something called a pocket diaper (Fuzzibunz) that had a waterproof outer part sewn to a soft fleece inner part, and between them you stuff a prefold diaper or special absorbent insert. These were wonderful for quite awhile--very soft on baby, comfy and no rashes, easy and quick to put on--but once he started moving, they were a little bulky. Sadly, the fleece eventually got some kind of buildup presumably from our hard water and now they repel the pee, and I haven't figured out how to "strip" them to make them absorb again.<br />
<br />
After the repelling problem we started using Gdiapers, which are a sort of fabric undies with a little waterproof sling inside that holds something absorbent, either a washable insert or a compostable absorbent pad. (There are a small truckload of these in my compost bin right now; we will see how well they degrade.) The Gdiapers have been great--no leaks, quick and easy, and slim and unbulky for my crawler/walker. Downsides: probably a pricier option than some, they still use resources to make the compostable inserts, and I sometimes worry that the velcro or snaps on the "Gpants" are uncomfortable for him.<br />
<br />
I also made my own baby wipes from cut squares of old cotton baby blankets and a solution of water, shampoo and olive oil. The wipes work better than store bought and get washed up with the diapers.<br />
<br />
As for washing, all the diapers go into a separate laundry bin and get washed in hot water, one or two extra loads per week, no soaking or dunking or spraying. And we keep a pack of unbleached disposables (I like Seventh Generation) for moments when the clean diapers haven't made it to the drawers. Cloth diapers have been easy, especially compared to other parts of being a new mom, and I would do it again in a minute. <br />
<br />
A great resource on cloth diapering is <a href="http://diaperpages.com/index.php">Karen's Cloth Diapering site</a>.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-90248234192834971642011-01-03T17:22:00.001-05:002011-05-15T23:06:07.616-04:00Resolution: Keep goingMost people's new year's resolutions have to do with making some kind of positive change in their lives. My resolution is to keep things the same--to keep pumping breast milk for my 15 month old son. But in other ways, it is like other resolutions, there are strong forces fighting against the thing you are trying to do--otherwise you wouldn't need a resolution to do it! The main force I am dealing with is a constant evaluation of how much Sam needs his milk versus how inconvenient and uncomfortable I am. I often think how wonderful it would be to slip into bed at night without having to sit up for 20 minutes, or to get that extra sleep in the morning, or to quit washing pump parts day after day. Comfort and convenience are strong forces! But I resolve to fight them for awhile longer and keep bottle-feeding breast milk, because Sam still loves and will benefit from breast milk.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-69258484946527815522010-12-30T14:15:00.001-05:002010-12-30T14:17:47.197-05:00Tale of Two BirthsMelissa Bartick, MD, chair of the Massachusetts Breastfeeding coalition, wrote a great series on breastfeeding in the US. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-bartick/ipeaceful-revolutioni-mot_b_536659.html">I recommend this article that describes two hypothetical births</a>--one in a baby-friendly hospital and one not, because it shows how our society, communities, and medical system all come together to set a new mom up for success, or failure.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-81887556332710779642010-12-24T11:22:00.000-05:002010-12-24T11:22:01.529-05:00A higher level of barriersIn a <a href="http://babyfood1.blogspot.com/2010/02/stopping-breastfeeding.html">previous post</a>, I talked about the most common reasons moms quit breastfeeding: latching problems, breast refusal, low milk supply, and pain. Looking back, I realize that I stopped because of extreme pain caused by latching problems from extreme engorgement and a frenetically, energetically hungry baby with a very strong suck.<br />
<br />
United States Breastfeeding Committee commissioned <a href="http://org2.democracyinaction.org/dia/track.jsp?v=2&c=NfqCedNWmECUiNSpQi51zxtDRDfDE6LR">a new report to help "combat the barriers to breastfeeding success."</a> It lists the major barriers as <b>"hospital practices, provider skills, social and workplace support, and media and marketing." </b> These are the <i>societal barriers</i> that either cause or hinder solutions to the <i>many personal or physiological problems </i>(like pain) that new moms deal with when trying to breastfeed. <br />
<br />
At the time my son was born, I felt that my hospital gave me good support, I think because I was so emotionally overwhelmed that I mistook good <i>emotional</i> care for good <i>medical</i> care. (The hospital where Sam was born is not recognized as a <a href="http://www.babyfriendlyusa.org/eng/10steps.html">Baby-Friendly Hospital by Unicef</a>, though they did meet many of the Ten Steps.) But with a year of hindsight, asking myself whether the medical services did the best they could for me and my baby, the answer is no. Here's why:<br />
<ol><li>There was one lactation consultant on staff at the hospital, but she was also a <i>full-time nurse</i> with regular shifts and only saw nursing moms in her spare time between rounds or as overtime. During my stay at the hospital, I saw her once a day, and afterward, once a week. What I needed was access to a certified lactation consultant round the clock while at the hospital (anytime I tried to nurse) and on call at home. Initiating breastfeeding is an hour-by-hour challenge.</li>
<li>The other nurses tried to help with breastfeeding, but their advice was, though well-meaning, inconsistent and not very helpful, except for the emotional aspect. A <a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1552-6909.1991.tb01677.x/abstract">commonly-cited article from the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecological, and Neonatal Nursing</a> reported that "nurses have limited knowledge of breastfeeding, although no variable consistently predicted breastfeeding knowledge." (Anderson, 1991.)</li>
<li>The nurses gave Samuel colostrum mixed with glucose water, despite <span id="goog_1919140058"></span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/">medical recommendations against glucose water to prevent hypoglycemia<span id="goog_1919140059"></span></a>. (Orr, 1997.) </li>
<li>One of my symptoms was edema, which made engorgement worse and latching extremely difficult. The lactation consultant said the IV fluids I was given contributed to this, but I don't recall edema being one of the potential side effects of my pain treatment. (Walker, 2000.)</li>
<li>I expected my doula to see when there was a problem and help me find solutions, but her job was done after the baby was born, except for one follow-up visit. Next time I will secure my own help (from doula or otherwise) for longer.</li>
</ol>These fall under "hospital services" and "provider skills," I could also list other problems I experienced under "social and workplace support" and probably even "media and marketing." What combination of problems did you experience, and which of the higher-level barriers (hospital practices, provider skills, social and workplace support, and media and marketing) did they fall under?<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">1. Orr, Edie and Crase, B. "Hypoglycemia and the Breastfed Newborn." From NEW BEGINNINGS, Vol. 14 No. 4, July-August 1997, pp. 107-8</span><br />
<div class="articleDetails"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">2. Anderson, E., N, MS and GEDEN, E., RN, PhD, FAAN<sup>. "</sup>Nurses' Knowledge of Breastfeeding." Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic, & Neonatal Nursing<a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jogn.1991.20.issue-1/issuetoc" shape="rect"><span id="volumeNumber">, Volume 20</span>, <span id="issueNumber">Issue 1</span>, </a><span id="issuePages">pages 58–62</span>, <span id="issueDate">January 1991.</span></span> </div><div class="articleDetails"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span id="issueDate">3. Walker, Marsha, RN, IBCLC. "</span>Breastfeeding and Engorgement. from Breastfeeding Abstracts<b>,</b></span> <span style="font-size: xx-small;">November 2000, Volume 20, Number 2, pp. 11-12.</span></div><div class="articleDetails"><span id="issueDate"> </span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-6801558320697258252010-11-28T16:00:00.001-05:002011-05-15T23:05:43.048-04:00International travel while breastfeedingI'm heading to Paris and London in a week for work and am worried about managing pumping breast milk.<br />
<br />
First, I am anxiously eying my freezer supply to make sure there is four days' worth of milk for the time I am away. Then, I am uneasy about the flight there, during which I will most certainly have to pump in public. Breastfeeding in public is one thing, but the almost bovine aspect of pumping is altogether another. I will need to get over this unease, fast. Next, once I arrive at my destination, I will either need a power adapter or a boat load of batteries to keep the pump running for four days. I started looking into the power adapter option but it's so complicated that I think I'm better off buying a big pack of batteries and hauling them in my suitcase. I'll also have to bring supplies to wash parts in the hotel.<br />
<br />
But the biggest worry is what to do with all the pumped milk, probably 80-100 oz. The most sensible and convenient option is to dump it. But can a breast milk fanatic mom like me actually bring herself to do this? I am imagining complex ways around dumping: I could buy a good cooler bag, milk storage bags, and lots of Ziploc bags, continually refresh the ice from the hotel ice machine, assuming my room has no refrigerator. Then there is the matter of getting back through security with the milk. (I should be thankful that it's not 2004, when the TSA barred more than 3 oz. of breast milk unless you were traveling with a baby. Except if a mom is traveling with her baby, she wouldn't need to bring a pump and all the pumped milk!) And what if after all this the ice doesn't hold up for the 12-hour trip? I would probably just check the baggage and hope for the best.<br />
<br />
What would you do?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-32627197054680670832010-11-19T19:52:00.002-05:002011-05-15T23:06:58.829-04:00Breast pump recommendationsThe right breast pump is an important part of a breastfeeding plan and can even bail you out in the case of latch problems like I had. (Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or lactation consultant and all views below are from my own experience and research.)<br />
<br />
Your first question might be: do I need a pump? Some say no if you are not planning to be apart from your baby, but I would suggest every nursing mom should have one on hand in case of unexpected separation or problems nursing. <br />
<br />
The next question is whether you need an electric or manual pump. Do you plan to be away from your baby for more than a few hours at a time at any time during the period you hope to breastfeed? If so, you need a double electric pump (double means can pump both breasts at once) to maintain your supply and make regular pumping realistic and manageable. If you will be home with your baby, you may be able to use a manual pump for brief outings--these are fairly inexpensive, $30-$60. Electric pumps cost more ($60-$350) but are generally faster and more effective at extracting milk. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuxnfhzISZ9o-yMSD-gZtLRteRTTMMhvY4Wben9mMjuSqpVVo9VDeFw9j9d33lOpU9QTkx-xJLQaT0LQo998DBASoR-NG_cksExr-E7xK-1WLzClu0n85FE3_vRyNvjyiSpLHLpqeYUe0D/s1600/IMG00025.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuxnfhzISZ9o-yMSD-gZtLRteRTTMMhvY4Wben9mMjuSqpVVo9VDeFw9j9d33lOpU9QTkx-xJLQaT0LQo998DBASoR-NG_cksExr-E7xK-1WLzClu0n85FE3_vRyNvjyiSpLHLpqeYUe0D/s320/IMG00025.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My desk with PISA.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Double-electric pumps can be rented from some hospitals, and home models are almost as good at extracting milk. A good way to start your search for an electric pump is by calling your hospital or birthing center and asking what pumps they provide to new moms, because you may end up taking home from the birthing center a set of parts that will fit home pumps, too. For example, Medela parts that a hospital provides will fit home Medela pump, a cost savings and convenience. You could also inquire about rental. (It's also just good to ask your birthing center what they do to help new nursing moms--whether they offer pump instruction, have lactation consultants on staff to help you, etc. You will rely heavily on these services in those first few days.)<br />
<br />
Finally, decide which brand/model is right for you. I use a Medela Pump in Style (PISA) and have been pleased with it, though there are several good brands of double electric pumps. When reviewing your options, here are some features to consider.<br />
<ul><li>Hands-free: some pumps offer hands-free devices so you can read, use the computer, drive, etc. while pumping, which is important as pumping sessions can be long and boring. However, I found it easy to make something like this for my PISA out of an old tube top or sports bra.</li>
<li> Bottles: you may want to choose a brand that has bottles you like for feeding so that you don't have to pour milk from one kind to the other. Some bottles are interchangeable with other brands' nipples and vice versa. For me, I prefer a wide-mouth-style bottle for feeding (Born Free) but Medela bottles are narrow-mouth, so I "store and pour." (Bottle choice could be a whole other post, but in short, some bottles have research behind them that shows them to be better for babies who switch back and forth from bottle to breast; other considerations include air management, number of parts that need washing, BPA-free, etc.)</li>
<li>Portability/style: If you work, this thing will be over your shoulder a lot.</li>
<li>Power: Look for a model that has an alternate power source such as a car charger or battery pack because you will almost certainly face having to pump in a bathroom stall, storage closet, car, etc. during your time as a breastfeeding mom.</li>
</ul>I do not recommend purchasing or borrowing a used pump since there is a risk of disease transmission through home pumps' open airflow system, unlike hospital-grade pumps which have a closed airflow system. If cost is prohibitive for you, I suggest looking into renting a hospital pump, or putting your pump (or cash toward a pump) on the top of your baby shower list.<br />
<br />
Afterward, if you choose a pump and find it's not working well for you, you may need to fine-tune the horn sizes, power, or even try another pump. Different arrangements work better for different people. <br />
<br />
The bottom line: if you don't set yourself up for success in maintaining milk supply, which requires frequent emptying of the breast by baby or pump, you could be looking at making another big investment: baby formula.<br />
<br />
(For more information on pumping, <a href="http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bf-links-pumps.html">kellymom.com</a> is a great resource.)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-5781311798599889942010-11-11T17:19:00.001-05:002011-05-15T23:04:44.554-04:00BalanceMany of my readers have encouraged me to leave guilt behind. There's no question they are absolutely, unequivocally right, and when I look at it in a logical moment, I am proud of what I've done for my baby. Part of the reason I write this blog, though, is to acknowledge that new moms often face powerful emotions that defy logic and influence decisions. Guilt, in particular, arises out of the perceived trade-off between one's self-interest and one's child's interests. Before I was a parent, for the most part, I was the only one who experienced the consequences of my actions, good or bad. But as a parent, there's someone else--someone whose future is in your hands, and someone who you love more than you ever loved anything before or ever thought you could--who experiences them too.<br />
<br />
This perceived trade-off permeates big decisions and trivial ones alike. For example, do you feed your baby formula or breastfeed him despite serious inconvenience, difficulty, or pain? Do you take a few moments for yourself while your toddler watches TV, or do you sit down to read him a book? Do you take him to a playgroup even though you're not big on socializing with other parents? Do you put him in a better school much further out of your way? Do you dip into your retirement money to send him abroad to study? The happiest families are probably great at finding a balance of sacrifice and self-care, and finding solutions that are win-win for parent and child. <br />
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In this way, my experience with breastfeeding has been the ultimate crash course in parenting.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6400765061273416127.post-17770581773335522532010-10-20T17:05:00.003-04:002011-05-15T23:05:12.893-04:00Humbled by a milk supply struggleIn a <a href="http://babyfood1.blogspot.com/2010/05/supply.html">previous post</a>, I talked about how it is easy to see why milk supply can be such a concern for new moms. But recently, I've gained new perspective and been humbled by a supply problem of my own.<br />
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After dropping to three pumps per day a few months ago, my supply dropped, and I started dipping into my freezer stash. I had envisioned that by age one, Sam would reduce his milk intake in favor of solids. To the contrary, he's thirstier than ever. Then a few weeks ago, I got hit with a nasty cold and suffered another drop. I decided to up pumps to try to increase supply. A week went by, then two, without an increase; meanwhile, we were topping off bottles with cow's milk left and right. I started to feel like throwing in the towel and just letting him have 75/25 or 50/50 human/cow--and feeling pretty bad about it right after my post deriding cow's milk for babies. You get to a point--and I remember this from the early days--where you start changing the story you tell yourself about how important breast milk is, and guilt rears its head, too. One minute you've convinced yourself it's totally fine, and another you are reading a<a href="http://jama.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/short/287/18/2365"> study showing a correlation between extended breastfeeding and intelligence</a>. It's so not fun, and gives me new respect for moms who persevere despite supply issues. <br />
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In the end, the milk ticked up, but only after three weeks of trying.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17949000905522146233noreply@blogger.com3